Maybe the following only happens to me, but I actually
think it happens to everyone at least once a year.
I’m not talking about losing your phone, wallet or coat. I’m talking about losing your food.
“How?” you might ask?

Well, I always seem to leave some of my groceries behind
at the market. And I really can’t quite seem to comprehend how I, frequently, come home
without 1 or 2 items that I put in my basket and payed for.

And it’s always the stuff I really needed, not the stupid, but delicious,
salted caramel chocolate I couldn’t resist at the checkout.
When I unpack my bag and start putting
the food in the fridge, I realize there’s often something missing that I definitely wanted to eat or
use that day. This debacle always leaves me completely confused,
angry and desperate. You know, I do always check twice if I have taken
all my groceries of the counter. And there’s definitely nothing there
anymore, so where does all this stuff go?
Did the Bermuda triangle suddenly decided to move to
my local supermarket? I just can’t and it bugs me!


So if this happens to you too, I’ve made a little checklist to make you
understand how this predicament could happen and to make sure it never happens again.

How to make sure you get home with all your groceries

1 Maybe there is a very big hole in your bag and your precious toilet paper
keeps falling out on your way to the car or while biking home. Always check for holes when you leave home and when you leave the market. There’s very important toilet stuff at stake here.

You could have a stalker that loves to eat whatever you eat. That’s
not even super creepy, but also super annoying. This person could follow you
down to your supermarket and steal your tomatoes when you’re paying the cashier. You should definitely put a
spy cam in your bag to tape this freak and turn
that tomato-stealing-stalker in. Hands off our veggies!

What if the cashier really hates your guts, because you had a thing
with her man like 10 years ago and all that time she waited to retaliate.
That’s why she secretly scans only half of your groceries and sneaks
the rest of it under the counter. She will get you where you’ll
feel it the most, right in the stomach. That’s why it’s always safer to pick a cashier of the opposite sex.

Of course there’s always the option that you never really carefully
check if you have all your stuff. You’re probably doing laundry in
your head or checking out the hot guy in line, instead of checking out your groceries.

So there you have it, a brief and clear list for checking out all of your grocery store items.

Safe shopping!



This blog goes out to all the lost soda bottles, apples and potato chips.