If your’re reading this, it’s my birthday! Yay for me right?
WRONG. Ever since I’ve reached the age of not being socially
allowed to throw swimming and candy bday parties anymore,
I kinda don’t want to celebrate my bday at all. NO, I don’t want to
celebrate getting more wrinkles, not being able to work
with a hangover anymore or just being an adult all together. NO.
Well ok it was kinda fun to exchange my teenage kiddo bday
parties for 20 something binge drink parties. A whole lot of fun.
It was all fun and games until the the big 3 in my age kicked in.
Now I just feel old and all I want is candy, without the swimming part.
So NO, I’m not gonna tell you my age, but I will tell you that aging aint no fun. But hey, as long as they keep asking for my
ID when buying booze and cigarettes, I’m still fucking 21 and I
will continue to act that way and shop at Forever 21, together with all the other forever 21’s. YUP.
So if you’re feeling the same way or you just hate celebrating your
birthday for a whole bunch of other reasons, here’s a little list of reasons why not to celebrate your bday.
1 Think of all the money you’ll save
Birthday parties cost a lot of money. The cake, drinks, food, snacks,
maybe a venue that needs to be booked. When you don’t throw a party,
you can spend all that cash on something you really want. Like a nice citytrip, that new MAC lipstick, a
fabulous gym outfit, or a pony! Everyone loves ponies.
2 No new friends
We’ve all been through that awkward situation, where you
(accidentally or purposely) invite someone, but ‘forget’ to also
invite his or her ‘accessory’. (that one person who comes
with the package and always seems to be attached to him or her)
Not a good way to make new friends and definitely awkward
for both parties on your next lunchdate. You can’t win with
The Invitations. Someone, whether it’s a relative, co-worker, friend
or friend of friend, will always be forgotten or left behind on
purpose. Whoops! Avoid the awkwardness and skip the party!
3 So fresh, so clean
You can’t throw a party in your house, without wrecking the
place, you just can’t. Even if you’re name is Cinderella and you
run a supertight ship, someone else will definitely wreck it for you.
If you don’t want to wake up in the middle of vomit, beer cans
and cold pizza, don’t throw a bday party. Just don’t. You have
the option of waking up to the smell and sound of
abso-fucking-lutely no one in your house. So now you
can cry in silence about the fact that you didn’t have a birthday party. YAY!
Happy freaking birthday to me!